I remember that as soon as I was married, people started asking when "Baby" was coming. I was just getting used to being a wife, and they were hounding me to be a mother. Some of this was well meaning, but the topics of pregnancy & motherhood are already emotionally charged. When you add prying family, friends, and even acquaintances, it just adds anxt to the mix. I didn't know how to respond. I wasn't sure about my own plans, so prying questions were often awkward or even painful to deal with. I had one friend who got so fed up with these constant inquiries that she turned to rude and even crude suggestions to make people leave her alone. While these responses worked - people stopped asking - they did not leave my friend in a favorable light either.
Unfortunately, even once you get pregnant, the questions only go on hiatus. My youngest, Zoe, is three, and I jokingly say that my "Zoe Insurance" has worn off because more and more frequently I get the question, "So, when is number 3 coming?" Or, "You're falling behind, you'd better catch up." These comments, while said jokingly, can be painful. I won't go into the personal reasons why we only have two, and why they are spaced so far apart compared to most of our friends, who have mostly had more kids in less time, but these comments and questions can be painful, to say the least. I have two choices. I can let these questions bother me and drive me into an emotionally charged anxt attack, or I can brush them off and move on with life. Here are some things I have realized that help me make the second choice:
People are not asking because they want to hurt/annoy you. Often they are asking because they care about your future family, other times they are simply curious. They probably don't realize how uncomfortable they are making you.
You do not have to tell these people your actual plans. You can be vague or noncommittal. In the long run, this is a very personal topic, between, you, your husband, and the Lord, and you can choose not to share until you are ready.
Most people are not asking for an in-depth discussion about your decision. They just want a short answer.
I have also created some easy responses that lay the question to rest, especially when I follow up and take control of the conversation by asking my own questions, telling a funny story or fact, or anything to divert them from the topics I don't want to discuss. After they have been deflected, I take a deep breath and let the anxt go. I don't know about you, but I don't need to take on more than I already have. Below I have listed some of the responses I give people depending on closeness and how I am feeling. If I have used these on you in the past, now you know what they really mean! :)
"So, are you ready for number 3?"
"Nope. Two is enough for now. What about you? How is life going?"
"Is anyone ever ready? I heard this story on the radio (or a blog :D) about a guy who was interviewed after having his fourth. They asked him how it felt, and he said, 'Imagine you are drowning. And then someone hands you a baby.'" :) Then I change the topic to other funny stories.
"No Clue. How is your _______ doing?"
"We haven't got that figured out yet and I don't really want to talk about it. Can we talk about something else? Like grass? Did you know grass is the most versatile plant on the planet? It can grow almost anywhere, even in the arctic!" (This one is more serious, but then the silliness of the transition lightens it.)
The goal is to give a quick answer, even if it is a non-answer, and then divert the conversation. This is often enough to satisfy people and let them know not to ask anymore, especially the last one. So, keep it light, come up with some of your own responses, and make sure you're not the one asking the prying questions!