Postpartum topics are quickly becoming my newest passion! Why is this?
The postpartum period is often associated with lack of sleep, adjustment (both physically and emotionally), a few meals brought in, peri bottles and really big pads! Think about it… a period that lasts about 6-12 weeks. Ugh. At first glance, it’s not much of a vacation.
But what if it could be?
To bring the postpartum period into a more positive light we now have new wording to use. Phew! This same period of time is more commonly being called, “the fourth trimester” and a “babymoon.” Now that sounds like a vacation I would go on! (In fact, one of my first suggestions to you is to jump on Pinterest and create a 4th trimester or babymoon board! Save your resources there. When the need arises, you will have them!)
There was a time in my own life when I never thought that it was possible to enjoy postpartum. I struggled, my family struggled, and it was not an enjoyable period of time.
The very definition of enjoy is to take delight or pleasure in, have a pleasant time and to possess and benefit from. Enjoy also means to love, appreciate, savor and celebrate. Do you want to enjoy your postpartum experience? With my most recent birth and recovery, I began to notice very similar comments occurring at my postpartum checks. “Wow, you really are prepared.” “You did your research.” “You both are doing so great.” “She looks amazing!” “It looks like everything you're doing is paying off.” It would appear that my caregivers were amazed that everything was going well and that I was able to cope with each of the challenges that came my way. At one point I was told, “I wish we could bottle what you’re feeling and give it to other moms.” Today I want to share with you the formula that I used, so that you can enjoy postpartum too! Enjoying postpartum is possible by having a plan--specifically by creating a team of support. 3 things I want you to learn: 1. The importance of having a team. The “Why?” 2. Your options, the people who make up your team. The “Who?” 3. How to put a team together. The “How?” Why should you have a postpartum support team? For the sanity and well-being of 1: your baby, 2: yourself and 3: the people who rely on you. First, one of the biggest reasons to have a postpartum team is for your baby. Your baby spends their entire existence nestled inside of the warm and safe comfort of your body. When they are born, they need and want you, and that is a pretty cool thing. Breastfeeding is demanding and time consuming at first. The diapers seem endless. You may be tired and sore. All of these things get better with time. Spend time skin to skin, feed them and offer that reassurance that you and them will adjust together. Get the oxytocin (that love hormone that causes you to go in to labor, let down your milk, bond with baby etc.) flowing! Have a support team because your baby needs you and you need your baby! Another one of the biggest reasons to have a postpartum team is of course, YOU. We seem to downplay childbirth a lot more than we should. No matter how you give birth, you NEED to heal both physically and emotionally. I have many recommendations. Hydration, food, sunlight, sleep, a bath or shower and skin to skin are at the top of my list. I challenge you to value yourself and your family by making healing a priority. Do it for you!
We all know about the “put on your own oxygen mask, before assisting others” example, but it’s so true! One of the biggest reasons to have a postpartum team is so you can take care of yourself so that you in turn are able to take care of those who rely on you! You need a support team for THEM! Stress the importance and make an agreement with your partner. Extra support benefits everyone! So who can offer help? Basically there are two different categories of support available: support from family and friends, and paid support from professionals. Start by making a list of what your needs will be, the family and friends that will be around you, and the type of support that they are willing to provide.
What can they help with? Anything you, (your partner, or family members) need. This may be meals, grocery shopping, childcare, keeping you hydrated, assisting with breastfeeding, bringing snacks, physical comforts like massage, emotional support, a listening ear, someone to mow the lawn, etc, etc. The list goes on and on. After you've used your family and friend resources, it's time to determine what you need from the community. This is where researching your options comes in! Look into local services and resources that are available in your area. Find out what is right for you! Some cost money and some do not. May I offer a few suggestions of community and professional support to get you started?
Consider attending a free Le Leche League breastfeeding support meeting in your area for free basic breastfeeding help
Hire or take classes from an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) if you need more substantial help or want to be extra prepared beforehand. Here's a good website from an IBCLC that may prove to be an invaluable resource for you.
Attend a mommy group for postpartum depression, breastfeeding, babywearing, etc)
Hire a chiropractor for you and/or baby
Consider hiring someone to offer you belly binding--it aids in helping your abdominal wall after the birth and pulls all of those birthing muscles back together.
Find someone in your area like this who offers mother roasting services
Consider having your placenta encapsulated! (If you've never heard of it before, the benefits are HUGE! Read up on it here
Hire a postpartum doula
Visit a massage therapist to help you recover and relax. Some even offer their services in the comfort of your own home so you don't have to get up and go.
Organize a meal train using this simple and free service!
Having a postpartum care plan makes all of these things fall into place. A postpartum care plan is the formal and organized way of deciding who will help with what. If you want to really enjoy your postpartum, we suggest you start creating a postpartum care plan during your pregnancy.
To give you some ideas, my personal postpartum care plan was a lot like this: My husband and mom planned to each take a week off of work. They each took separate weeks. This allowed me to spend two weeks upstairs mostly in my room and bathroom, then another two weeks downstairs and around the house on my own. I rested and slept as much as I was able to. Especially during the first two weeks. My husband slept at night and played with the kids during the day. Meals, snacks and drinks were brought to my bed. I breastfed on demand and spent lots of time skin to skin, both in bed and in herbal Epson salt baths. I was able to find the funds to hire a belly binder, a placenta encapsulator and pay for a couple extra services such as a hot stone press and moxibustion. During the fourth trimester, I kept the rule to lift nothing heavier than my baby. I imagined my placenta site scabbing over and healing as I took it easy. Bleeding was minimal and quick to disappear. I read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and I had my husband call an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) when I was struggling. These ladies have advanced training in breastfeeding and are trained to diagnose practically any problem. If your regular lactation specialist can't help you, contact an IBCLC. Here's one we love. We prepared over three weeks worth of freezer meals for dinner. I also froze big batches of pancakes, crepes and muffins for quick snacks and breakfast. Family, friends and neighbors brought in food. Sometimes we asked, sometimes they offered. When others cooked and cleaned my husband was able to enjoy our baby too! Make sure that when others come to visit it doesn't turn into them holding the baby while YOU cook or clean. Keep that baby space to yourself. Before I gave birth, I talked to my chiropractor about adjusting newborns and babies. (Adjustments have proven to be beneficial for numerous reasons after the birth, including helping with latching/breastfeeing difficulties and colic.) I attended a postpartum support group and a free Le Leche League meeting while pregnant to prepare for breastfeeding. I also scheduled a visit with a close friend to come over and talk. These are just a handful of the things I did to set myself up for the best postpartum ever! The “How” to create a postpartum care plan is actually quite simple. Print out a calendar and start filling in who is available and willing to come at certain times during your recovery. Obviously this needs to be flexible around when your baby may arrive. Gather resources, talk to friends, family members, and neighbors, make agreements and book your services. It’s crucial that you value yourself and create sufficient support. You don’t have to do this alone! If they don’t offer, ask! If they do offer, let them help! A good idea is to set up a private Facebook postpartum group with some of your closest friends and family, that way you can jump on to ask for help and see who can come to your rescue. Finally, make any needed or wanted preparations such as herbal bath blends, red raspberry leaf cubes, or padsicles (feminine pads with frozen herbal tea or witch hazel on them) to save for future use.
The best time to prepare for postpartum is now! Value yourself, your family, and your new addition by making healing, bonding and enjoyment a priority. Gather your resources by researching and talking to others. Create your plan and be supported!
If this has been helpful to you, check out the audio class I taught at the first Mommy Method conference on building a postpartum support team. It's only $10 for the class, or you can purchase all 10 classes for $32.
Enjoy the transition! Enjoy the journey! Enjoy postpartum!